Farewell to a True Believer.

By Catherine Hanssens, Executive Director, CHLP 

My friend John Falkenberg died this month, on May Day 2013. John, a former nurse who also was good with numbers and a million other things, was a long-time advisor to CHLP and to SMART, an organization created by and supporting the health and growth of women with HIV.

Although John has been pretty sick over the last year, his death still is a shock to many who have known and loved him -- there are some people one just never expects to die.

John and I met about 18 years ago when we both were on the Board, and eventually co-chairs, of the former PWA Health Group. He was uniquely well informed on both the science and politics of AIDS treatment and access issues.  He was rigorous about factual accuracy, a quality that seems distressingly rare.

He was the best kind of friend to small non-profit HIV organizations and to people for whom HIV is just one of many life complications to deal with.  He helped me to interpret HIV research and medical developments, how to read and make a budget, how to set up mail lists, and how to surf the occasional madness of HIV politics without wiping out. 

His death is a huge loss for the many individuals and small organizations that he kept alive for many years – those he coached, counseled, financially supported, did budgets and licked envelopes for, to name just a few of the things he did without the slightest interest in credit or compensation.  

As a major advisor and friend to SMART, John taught classes on how to read lab reports, assisted with grant applications, and tirelessly and eloquently explained why SMART and organizations like it are essential.

Odds are most of the people reading this didn't know John. John hated attention, and never thought about what he did for me, CHLP, SMART or the countless newly--diagnosed people whom he counseled as anything more than what people do for others. He always showed up, he did the things that we couldn't do ourselves.  And he did all of this while on disability and living with HIV for more than 30 years – he was more productive while sick than many people working a full-time job. He was one of the very smartest, most interesting people I have known, and one of the most caring and generous. 

 

As the extraordinary visionary and organizer Bayard Rustin observed, the proof that one truly believes is in action. John was a true believer in the movements, organizations and people who try to balance the scales of justice for those on the margins, and he demonstrated those beliefs every day, with action. He was a reliable compass about so many things that mattered, and I, like all who knew him, will miss him for the rest of our lives.